by Terence A Anthony
SHAH ALAM – 3 AM
“Think you can help me out with
this piece? The deadline’s tomorrow.”
It was 3 am and I have a class 8
in the morning. I just spent the past few hours exploiting KFC’s free Wifi.
This was before I bothered getting my own internet plan. Sometimes I wonder if
other people wonder that I am homeless. The people here seem to recognize me.
So do the other coffee shops in the vicinity I visit for internet access.
“Yeah. Sure. Give me the details.”
Spend another couple hours,
freezing my ass off under this air conditioning? Well, I didn’t have a
productive night prior. Unless writing another album review for some obscure Australian death metal band was considered to
be productive in your eyes. Typing away words on a screen was my only talent. I may
as well put it to good use.
Besides, it has been years since
I fell in love with anyone. The last time was probably 3 years prior. I don’t
have a good track record when it comes to drowning in those chemicals. Besides,
I was a man who grew up feeding those basic instincts. If somebody were to
write a book about me, there has to be a section where I suffer from instant gratification.
Being a man who has not felt that
rush through his veins for far too long, I had to do something. I want her to
feel as if I am dependable. Selfish, but self-control isn’t my strong suit.
//
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER, DAMAI BEACH, 5.00PM
 |
| Not the exact spot, but close enough. |
We had several crates of beer.
The only thing that made sense at that point was to drink myself senseless. I
didn’t have to pay a dime. That’s what you get when you have friends cancelling
things off their bucket list before flying out of the city.
Intoxicated and trapped in an
endless cycle of Korean drinking games, for some reason I managed to keep
myself composed. It was obvious my friends were trying to flirt with the girls
in the gang. Well, the term gang was used loosely considering we just met few
of them only weeks before. I barely knew them by then.
I could’ve joined in but instead
I was texting her. I was still infatuated. For some reason the girls noticed
that my mind was off somewhere. Probably it was because I was checking my phone
after every round of drinks and games. I also was never into these drinking
games that learned in college. In my family we just drink until one of us pass
out in the living room. Even then, I was never the one who ends up in a face plant.
Regardless, I was texting away. If
my observations and guesses were correct only reason why I got close to those
girls later was because I was not a threat. I didn’t show a slightest hint of
interest at them. I remember at one point I was walking down to the other side
of the beach to get cigarettes at a nearby 7-11. Cigarette girl asked me if I was in a
relationship and before she could finish her sentence I answered no. The
question might have been just conversation filler but it did carry a punch
during that moment. There were a few seconds of awkward silence by my intruding
response but I guess she knew I was thinking about someone else; someone who
wasn’t the beach. Don’t get me wrong, cigarette girl was a nice person. I wasn’t
just in the right state of mind.
For the lack of a better term, I
was tied down. Tied down to a person who probably only thought I was a
convenient friend. I was projecting my ideas of what this imaginary
relationship should be onto her. I just happen to show up in her text messages
at 3am. All I know is that she insists on taking me out after helping with her
work.
That, and also she insist she claims
she wasn’t in a relationship. Man, was I wrong. It was just the beginning of my worries and I am not blameless.
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